Lately I have found that I am gradually losing control of my mouth. Sometimes I will be talking and suddenly I don't even know where my lips are anymore and I will start drooling. It's disgusting. Or I will laugh and for some reason it will come out ten times louder than is necessary, possibly spray someone and then end abruptly.
The other day I went out to eat and my salad wouldn't stay in my mouth. It just wouldn't. The waiter was staring at me as leaves of unusual size tried desperately to escape my mouth. I wish I could eat normally again but I can't seem to accomplish that. Maybe my mouth shrunk. Maybe my lips are deteriorating into mushy flaps of glue. I have also noticed that when I smile, only one side of my mouth lifts. Therefore I now have a lopsided grin. It's creepy.
So now I am afraid to sleep, talk, eat and smile in public. Or alone. Sometimes being alone is more awkward than being in front of people. Either way...
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Friday, 16 March 2012
Who's Afraid of the Dark? (me)
Yesterday I spent the entire day cleaning and reorganizing my room. I'm not exaggerating when I say the entire day. Apart from an hour or so spent hiding behind the coat rack in the dark having a mild breakdown, the day was dedicated to the upheaval of my room.
For one reason or another, women have this inbred desire to rearrange the furniture every few months. I think it has to do with being somewhat claustrophobic and probably ties in with the breakdowns as well (or maybe that's just me?). I used to have my bed against the wall, but I thought to myself, "hey, why should that stay there?" So I moved it to the middle of the room.
I realized that night why I had kept the bed against the wall. I woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and realized "It's dark in here..." I started to feel vulnerable and began to realize how easy it would be for something to reach over the sides of the bed and grab me. My protective wall was gone. I was stranded on an island-bed in the middle of my own room in the dark mysterious hours of the monsters and other things that go bump in the night. I can't begin to describe the feeling of helplessness.
Whenever I get scared at night (which is more often than I like admitting) I always feel embarrassed about in the morning. So I'm resolving to get used to it and am leaving my bed where it is. I don't need protective walls.
After all, I eat nails for breakfast, right?
For one reason or another, women have this inbred desire to rearrange the furniture every few months. I think it has to do with being somewhat claustrophobic and probably ties in with the breakdowns as well (or maybe that's just me?). I used to have my bed against the wall, but I thought to myself, "hey, why should that stay there?" So I moved it to the middle of the room.
I realized that night why I had kept the bed against the wall. I woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and realized "It's dark in here..." I started to feel vulnerable and began to realize how easy it would be for something to reach over the sides of the bed and grab me. My protective wall was gone. I was stranded on an island-bed in the middle of my own room in the dark mysterious hours of the monsters and other things that go bump in the night. I can't begin to describe the feeling of helplessness.
Whenever I get scared at night (which is more often than I like admitting) I always feel embarrassed about in the morning. So I'm resolving to get used to it and am leaving my bed where it is. I don't need protective walls.
After all, I eat nails for breakfast, right?
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
Cat Names
For those of you who actually read my blog, I'm sorry I haven't written in so long. Main reason: I had a really, truly, lovely flu.
We are getting kittens!!! There will be two of them but of course, as we are not a normal family, the naming process was very weird. Some of the names my mom came up with were:
* Kit and Kat
* Dash and Dot
* Zig and Zag
Some of the names my brothers and sister and I came up with:
* Pylon and Dunce Cap
* Zap Strap and Zip Strip
* Pilgraphine and Memphis
* This and Tree Trunk
* Some Cones and The Other Cat
* Snap, Crackle and Poop (we would throw in the dog there as well)
* Magneto and Professor X
* Snoot and Snout
* Nyan Cat and Spaghetti Cat
What we ended up with: Flannery-Guilford Thermopolis Longstocking and Buckminsterfullerene.
We are getting kittens!!! There will be two of them but of course, as we are not a normal family, the naming process was very weird. Some of the names my mom came up with were:
* Kit and Kat
* Dash and Dot
* Zig and Zag
Some of the names my brothers and sister and I came up with:
* Pylon and Dunce Cap
* Zap Strap and Zip Strip
* Pilgraphine and Memphis
* This and Tree Trunk
* Some Cones and The Other Cat
* Snap, Crackle and Poop (we would throw in the dog there as well)
* Magneto and Professor X
* Snoot and Snout
* Nyan Cat and Spaghetti Cat
What we ended up with: Flannery-Guilford Thermopolis Longstocking and Buckminsterfullerene.
Tuesday, 6 March 2012
Free-pills!
I will make this post short because it is a rather embarrassing subject for some (myself included). Junk mail is not fun for anyone to receive in their inbox. I used to get lots of emails from South American people I didn't know, but things have changed. Based on the junk mail I receive now, I WISH I could get mail from random South Americans! Instead I am now receiving advertisements form pharmacies, "free-pills!" agencies and the Max Gentlemen Enlargement Pills company.
I just don't even know anymore...
I just don't even know anymore...
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Danae Is Typing...
Am I the only one who hates this? Please tell me I am not the only person who feels awkward about that little thing on facebook chat that lets me know when the other person is typing. It's like the awkward silence of the cyber-world. I don't have a little bubble above my head that says "Danae is thinking..." when I'm trying to respond to someone in a REAL conversation.
And of course it gets worse when you start typing something, and suddenly they are too! So you both stop and now neither of you are typing. You are sitting there wanting to say "Oh no, you go first," but if you start typing to say that, inevitably they will too. It's a vicious cycle.
What says "I care about this conversation" more so than typing one letter in the chat box so it will appear that you are typing... when really you are just trying to buy time so you can think of something to say? I beseech you, do not lie to me! You have all done this.
Lastly, there are those who will let you sit there for 10 minutes while they are typing... waiting for some big story or long piece of news and finally, when they feel they've wasted enough of your time, they say "ya."
Yeah. I am SO typing right now...
And of course it gets worse when you start typing something, and suddenly they are too! So you both stop and now neither of you are typing. You are sitting there wanting to say "Oh no, you go first," but if you start typing to say that, inevitably they will too. It's a vicious cycle.
What says "I care about this conversation" more so than typing one letter in the chat box so it will appear that you are typing... when really you are just trying to buy time so you can think of something to say? I beseech you, do not lie to me! You have all done this.
Lastly, there are those who will let you sit there for 10 minutes while they are typing... waiting for some big story or long piece of news and finally, when they feel they've wasted enough of your time, they say "ya."
Yeah. I am SO typing right now...
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