How Not to Appear 8 Years Younger Than You Are

       I went out for dinner with my parents and my sister (my parents played Words With Friends on my dad's iphone pretty much the whole time). We sat just outside the "bar" section because we were in the US and you have to be 21 to drink down there. That was fine for my little sister, of course, but since I look about half my age most of the time I sometimes like to order alcohol just to PROVE I'm 19.
       I am going to guess our waiter was only a few years older than me, if that. He was very nice and suave and we all quite liked him.
       Rule #1 - In the quest to look your age, DON'T wear gumboots and DO wear some makeup. Nuff said.
       Rule #2 - If you can't order alcohol, at least don't try to order a chocolate milkshake. That's what I did. And my little sister piped up with a "me too!" as well. Which brings us to rule number three.
       Rule #3 - Don't share a meal with your little sister. No offense Lil One, but I think you brought my Apparent Age down by 3 or 4 years. (we even got the hamburger cut in half)
       Rule #4 - Don't giggle incessantly for no apparent reason, stare at the mounted TV with your mouth open, or gaze longingly at the bar, where all the "cool, older" people sit.
       Ruler #5 - If you are stupid enough to be me and break all above rules, try to bring up a conversation about your impending birthday during which you will turn 20, discreetly mention that you are considering university in the fall, or say, "Gee, I sure like being 19!!!" within earshot of the waiting staff. That last one is a little obvious but there are ways to make it work.
       I didn't consider those options though, of course, as I was having just too much fun being immature. We weren't able to get milkshakes but our waiter placated us with root beer (another faux pas, don't get immitation adult drinks: root "beer", ginger "ale", or shirley temples. It makes you seem desperate to be grown up). Everyone was having a blast until our waiter came up to us and asked my sister and I if we'd like refills of said root beer. Of course we did. I should have said, "No, now that I'm 19 my metabolism has slowed down," or "I would but I'm too old for refills," or SOMETHING along those lines. But no, I said, "SURE!" to which that suave, manly and condescending waiter turned to my parents and said;
       "Don't worry, it's caffeine free, the girls won't be up all night!"
        :(